How do I use this guide?
Choose a calm moment: over a meal, on a walk in the park or during a visit. Ask one or two questions, listen, and write down the answers afterwards, not while they watch.
You are not looking for a diagnosis. You want to learn what your parent has quietly stopped doing, what worries them, and what they want to keep.
1. Start with what they love
- “What do you enjoy most in your week these days?”.
- “Is there something you used to do that you miss, like the morning walk at Polo Ground or going to the market?”.
- “If your body was working better, what would you do first?”.
These answers become the goals of any physiotherapy plan, so write them in your parent’s words.
2. Ask about daily movement
- “How are the stairs these days? Which floor do you sleep on?”.
- “How is the bathroom floor when it is wet? Do you hold anything?”.
- “Do you get up in the night to go to the toilet? Is the light on?”.
- “Is there anything you now ask someone else to do, like fetching things from the kitchen?”.
- “Do you ever feel dizzy when you stand up?”.
A parent will usually answer “fine” to “how are you”, but a specific question about a place gets a true answer.
3. Ask about pain and tiredness
- “Which part of your body gives you the most trouble? When did it start?”.
- “What makes it worse, and what helps?”.
- “Does it wake you at night?”.
- “Do you feel more tired than last year?”.
- “Has anything changed since the hospital visit?”.
4. Ask about doctors and medicines
- “When did you last see the doctor, and what did the doctor say?”.
- “Can I see your medicine bag, so I know what you take?”.
- “Did anyone suggest physiotherapy or exercise?”.
- “Who comes with you to appointments?”.
5. Ask how they want help
- “If someone helped with your exercises, would you prefer them to come to the house or would you like to go out?”.
- “Is there a language you are most comfortable in: Hokkien, Cantonese, Malay, Mandarin or English?”.
- “Who would you like to be at home when the physiotherapist visits?”.
- “Is there anything you are worried about, like cost or a stranger in the house?”.
What do I do with the answers?
| What you hear | A sensible next step |
|---|---|
| A fall, or avoiding the stairs or the bathroom | Use the falls risk self-check and the home safety checklist |
| Pain that is new, severe or waking them at night | See a doctor first. Read when to seek medical care |
| “I can’t do it like before,” with no pain | A physiotherapy assessment is a good place to start |
| Medicines that cause drowsiness or dizziness | Ask the doctor to review them |
| “I don’t want strangers at home” | Offer to be there, or start at a centre when it opens |
If one answer worries you, do not wait for the next family reunion. Our guide on helping a parent attend physiotherapy covers the conversation that follows.
What next?
Fill in the family care planner so siblings share the next steps. Then message us on WhatsApp with what you learned and the area of Ipoh your parent lives in, and we will tell you how a first home visit could go. See also caring for parents in Ipoh from KL.